There's this theory that nothing good happens during the month of February. Tonight goes in the column proving that theory.
I was two minutes from DePaul this afternoon when I begin to hear a strange noise. I think to myself, "I hope that's not my car." It clearly was. It didn't sound like my muffler had fallen again (that's already happened twice), and the noise was not immediately obvious. People on the street and in nearby cars didn't seem to hear it and the car behind me wasn't desperately trying to get my attention, so I figured the car wasn't about to explode. When I parked in the student parking lot, I got out and saw that my left rear tire was flat. I've never had a flat tire before, going eight and a half years with that record. Blast!
I haven't changed a flat before, but I do know how. So I went about it, in the weird 12 degree warmth. I say that not sarcastically. It didn't feel very cold. I suppose when you've gotten used to -30 degree windchills over the last week, temps in the low teens sound pretty good. As each minute passed, I was getting more proud of my acheivements. It was all going according to plan.
I replaced the flat with the donut, no problem. I then went to class. Four hours of excrutiating mind fucking later, I am nearly giddy with the idea of going home after this horrible day. I decide to go the relatively short distance to Jeff's apartment just to make sure the donut is alright. It seems ok, but I'm just not going to be comfortable until I'm home. Jeff's not home, so I decide to brave it and make my way to the burbs. From North Ave. onto the Kennedy, I realize something is going terribly terribly wrong. I am losing braking control. I am fishtailing on the on-ramp. People are getting pissed behind me. I put on my emergency lights and get off at the next exit, Division I think. I call my dad and he says to try to pump air in the donut with the air pump I keep in the trunk. It works but it seems fleeting. I wonder if I can get very far in this state. I am nearly screaming my prayer to "just let me get home." But it was not to be.
After my second attempt, I realize things have gotten even worse. The next exit, Ohio, is really fucking long. Too long. I'm even getting short with myself. Like it's my fault. I pull over onto Wells and call my dad again who attempts to track down a local service station. I call Jeff, who is just leaving work. I ask him if he has a spare tire in his Honda, thinking that because it is the same make as my car, it would work out. He generously agrees to meet me once he gets home and can pick up the car. After wasting an hour (or more, probably) of Jeff's time, we figure out his spare is millimeters different than what I need. I decide it's time to bite the bullet and end this shit already.
I call the number my dad gave me. It's a fax number. I laugh to myself. Of course it's a fax number. The way this day was going, it might all be a dream anyway. Jeff waits in his car while I go into a nearby bar to see if they know any towing numbers. They don't. Some drunk patrons try to tell me to go get some $3 magical foam tire fixer spray and that'll do the trick. I ask the bartender for the yellow pages. It all feels very 1985. Who looks at the yellow pages in a city bar? It seems so untechnological as to not be a real thing to do.
The first tow company I call doesn't ever pick up despite their ad yelling "24 HOUR SERVICE." The second company I call picks up but either hangs up when I tell him where I'm at or the call gets dropped. Either way, the three times I called back went straight to voicemail. The third company I called was the charm. He picked me up and drove me all the way to my neighborhood discount tire company. More than a hundo later, I'm sitting in my basement typing this overlong sympathy-inducing post. My feet are still cold and I'm really pissed off.
At least I'm not going to my classes tomorrow, my 9:30 econ class where the douchebag prof. is incredibly rude to me every chance he gets. "Get a watch that works!" I hate that asshole.
Hope everyone reading this had a better night than me, and Jeff too. Thanks buddy. Oh, yeah, that probably sounds weird not coming from Mary. So, thanks pal. I'll work on it. Hahaha.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Sunday, January 07, 2007
MY FAVORITE FILMS OF... ER, LAST YEAR
So it's past 2006, I know, and here I am posting a best of list that references a year we are no longer living. It's not my best moment, for it spotlights my procrastination among other vices, but nonetheless I feel compelled to mark my opinion in cyberspace. For those few of you still meandering to this piddling site, this is for you too, if you're interested.
I had a hard time narrowing the list in 2005 as well, though this time I left it to 11.
Of the films released in 2006, I saw 54. I whittled my Netflix cost to $2.88 a rental throughout the year, which I am happy with. It's a little more than half the cost of renting one DVD at Blockbuster.
I will list the full list of films I saw at the bottom of the post, so you can see that this ranking is based on a selection missing some of the major films released toward the end of the year. Living in Chicago, ahem Chicagoland, I don't get the opportunity to see every film like real critics on the coasts, so I do the best I can. There may be updates to this list, if I see a 2006 film that warrants it. As for now, though, here are my favorite films of 2006:
11. Babel - I really loved Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu's film "21 Grams" though I admit to being completely confused during the first half. That led me to be very excited for this film, especially after it got the director the Best Director prize at Cannes in May. By all accounts, it worked very well. It is very well acted, especially by Adriana Barraza, who I hope gets nominated for an Oscar. The only real complaint I have is that though it was interesting, beautifully filmed and well acted, the Tokyo story is connected to the larger story so loosely, it did not resonate with me. That said, the current breed of Mexican and South American directors are some of the best and most creative working today (Inarritu, Cuaron, Meirelles, etc.).
10. Lucky # Slevin - I easily disregarded this film when it came out last Spring, as a cloying rip-off of better films in the crime genre in the Tarantino mold. I also do not like Josh Hartnett, so I avoided this. I caught it on DVD, and I am very glad I did. It is not actually a rip off, but a valid entry in the genre. The script is tight and smart, funny and layered. Ben Kingsley and Morgan Freeman are terrific and very fun to watch. Hartnett is the best he's ever been (read: not annoying) and Lucy Liu was surprisingly substantial. This was a very surprising film.
9. Miami Vice - I had very low expectations of this movie. I had heard all the bad press about the filming of it, and am predisposed not to take Colin Farrell seriously. Michael Mann is a director I generally like and this film was hit all the right marks. It was atmospheric; Miami hasn't looked so alluring or real since "Out of Sight." The story was smart enough and not diluted. The action scenes and the cinematography were great. And any inclusion of Cuba -- somewhere I am dying to go -- gets my attention.
8. V For Vendetta - Never a comic book fan, I had no point of reference for this film. I love Natalie Portman, and was curious about how a character that never takes off his mask would work. The writing was so sharp, and the film appropriately gloomy. I was impressed.
7. Down in the Valley - This was one of those that came and went in the spring and no one noticed. I caught it on DVD. Edward Norton plays a man in the valley near LA (San Fernando?) drifting through life in the slow, langourous way of a cowboy. He meets Evan Rachel Wood and they instantly fall in love; the conflict comes in the form of David Morse, ERW's cop father. Norton ingratiates himself into her and her family's lives to a very dangerous degree. This was some of my favorite writing of the year; it's a little long, which keeps it this low on my list. Norton is typically excellent, and makes this character better than it would be by anyone else. The film moves slowly, but it's melodic not boring. Definitely worth a look.
6. Children of Men - The trailer for this could be my favorite film of the year; I was so anxious for this that I think the film suffered for it. I expected something a little more uplifting or inspiring than such bleakness. Nonetheless, everything else I thought was top-notch. The filmmaking on display here is tremendous. The acting is wonderful, especially by Clive Owen and Michael Caine. I accept the sci-fi premise readily; but I want to know more about this pregnancy. How? Why her? As for the technical aspects, well, there is nothing better this year. The cinematography will be studied in perpetuity and the set decoration is incredible. Cuaron, I said earlier, is one of the best directors working today, and I will see anything he attaches his name to. One of the best films of the year, if only a little disappointing. I blame the marketers.
5. Hard Candy - This is a fixed study of paranoia, of control, of vengeance. Comprising of two actors only, it is not surprising this was written by a playwright. Ellen Page (who?) is electrifying and what she does here is so intense. There is one scene that is the most terrifying thing I've seen in years. I don't want to spoil the fun. Everyone should jump this to the top of your queue. You may not like it (my cousin Ray did not) but it's definitely a conversation piece.
4. The Prestige - Christopher Nolan is an excellent director, and after reading the Devil in the White City, I'm fascinated by anything turn of the (19th) century. Hugh Jackman was really great and Christian Bale was equally compelling. Michael Caine is great in everything, pretty much. Scarlett Johanson was underused, but good. The set pieces and the look of this film are wonderful. A visual feast.
3. The Departed - This is one of the few films in which you notice the editing, and it is what really makes this film so good. The story is so dense with twists and turns and plot, that without such a quick pace, it would be three hours long and feel it. Nicholson reigns supreme -- just turn the camera on and let the man work. Leo DiCaprio and Matt Damon really turn in great performances here, as do Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen and even Mark Wahlberg. Sheen, especially, makes his screen time memorable. Scorcese is owed an Oscar, and if he gets it for this, it will be for a film he actually deserves it for, instead of the Academy's habit of giving awards for people for films they don't deserve them for (Pacino in Scent of a Woman) because they're long overdue.
2. Casino Royale - I am no Bond enthusiast. I've seen the Brosnan films, and a handful of the Connery installments. This, in my opinion, is the best Bond film. Maybe that's a comment based on a generational divide, but the old Bond films are just so campy or uneven. Royale is expert from the beginning, and Daniel Craig proves all the naysayers wrong with his turn. Connery will always be the best Bond, but Craig is a close second. I already can't wait for the next one.
1. Half Nelson - I loved this film and I didn't expect to. Until this performance I disliked Ryan Gosling. He is excellent here, and deserves to be nominated for an Oscar. He plays a high school history teacher with a cocaine addiction; he also coaches girl's basketball and establishes a protector role of one of the girls on the team. The story is so nuanced, well-written, beautifully filmed; the camera never lingers too long on a scene and Gosling really inhabits the character. Rent this when it comes out on DVD; it's my favorite film of the year.
These are the films I saw this year, in the order of their theatrical release:
Grandma’s Boy; Bubble; Imagine Me & You; Firewall; The Pink Panther; Date Movie; Running Scared; 16 Blocks; Dave Chappelle’s Block Party; Thank You For Smoking; V for Vendetta; Inside Man; Basic Instinct 2; Lucky Number Slevin; On a Clear Day; Hard Candy; The Sentinel; United 93; Down in the Valley; Mission: Impossible 3; The Da Vinci Code; The Break Up; A Prairie Home Companion; The Lake House; Wordplay; Superman Returns; Strangers With Candy; Pirates of the Caribbean 2; A Scanner Darkly; The Groomsmen; You, Me and Dupree; Clerks II; Little Miss Sunshine; Miami Vice; World Trade Center; Half Nelson; Accepted; The Illusionist; I Trust You To Kill Me; The Last Kiss; Feast; The Queen; The Departed; Flags of Our Fathers; The Prestige; Running With Scissors; Babel; Stranger Than Fiction; Casino Royale;
Déjà vu; The Holiday; The Pursuit of Happyness; The Good Shepherd; Children of Men.
Superlatives of the year:
Just Plain Awful: Date Movie
Not as Good as the TV Show: Strangers With Candy
Missing Many Pieces, and Much Common Sense: Superman Returns
Underwhelming: The Last Kiss
Creepy Impersonation: The Queen
Annoying: Flags of Our Fathers
Overhyped: Little Miss Sunshine
Too Heavy With Needless Stuff: The Good Shepherd
A Disservice to the Book: Running With Scissors
Should Have Been Better: Stranger Than Fiction
Gave Me A Headache: A Scanner Darkly
Unintentionally Hilarious: Firewall
Strange: Bubble
Waste of $8: Dave Chappelle's Block Party
I'm Embarrassed to Admit I Liked It: Basic Instinct 2
Unnecessary Haircut: The Davinci Code
Sad-Bastard: On a Clear Day
Can you figure out my taste yet??? Here's to 2007!
I had a hard time narrowing the list in 2005 as well, though this time I left it to 11.
Of the films released in 2006, I saw 54. I whittled my Netflix cost to $2.88 a rental throughout the year, which I am happy with. It's a little more than half the cost of renting one DVD at Blockbuster.
I will list the full list of films I saw at the bottom of the post, so you can see that this ranking is based on a selection missing some of the major films released toward the end of the year. Living in Chicago, ahem Chicagoland, I don't get the opportunity to see every film like real critics on the coasts, so I do the best I can. There may be updates to this list, if I see a 2006 film that warrants it. As for now, though, here are my favorite films of 2006:
11. Babel - I really loved Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu's film "21 Grams" though I admit to being completely confused during the first half. That led me to be very excited for this film, especially after it got the director the Best Director prize at Cannes in May. By all accounts, it worked very well. It is very well acted, especially by Adriana Barraza, who I hope gets nominated for an Oscar. The only real complaint I have is that though it was interesting, beautifully filmed and well acted, the Tokyo story is connected to the larger story so loosely, it did not resonate with me. That said, the current breed of Mexican and South American directors are some of the best and most creative working today (Inarritu, Cuaron, Meirelles, etc.).
10. Lucky # Slevin - I easily disregarded this film when it came out last Spring, as a cloying rip-off of better films in the crime genre in the Tarantino mold. I also do not like Josh Hartnett, so I avoided this. I caught it on DVD, and I am very glad I did. It is not actually a rip off, but a valid entry in the genre. The script is tight and smart, funny and layered. Ben Kingsley and Morgan Freeman are terrific and very fun to watch. Hartnett is the best he's ever been (read: not annoying) and Lucy Liu was surprisingly substantial. This was a very surprising film.
9. Miami Vice - I had very low expectations of this movie. I had heard all the bad press about the filming of it, and am predisposed not to take Colin Farrell seriously. Michael Mann is a director I generally like and this film was hit all the right marks. It was atmospheric; Miami hasn't looked so alluring or real since "Out of Sight." The story was smart enough and not diluted. The action scenes and the cinematography were great. And any inclusion of Cuba -- somewhere I am dying to go -- gets my attention.
8. V For Vendetta - Never a comic book fan, I had no point of reference for this film. I love Natalie Portman, and was curious about how a character that never takes off his mask would work. The writing was so sharp, and the film appropriately gloomy. I was impressed.
7. Down in the Valley - This was one of those that came and went in the spring and no one noticed. I caught it on DVD. Edward Norton plays a man in the valley near LA (San Fernando?) drifting through life in the slow, langourous way of a cowboy. He meets Evan Rachel Wood and they instantly fall in love; the conflict comes in the form of David Morse, ERW's cop father. Norton ingratiates himself into her and her family's lives to a very dangerous degree. This was some of my favorite writing of the year; it's a little long, which keeps it this low on my list. Norton is typically excellent, and makes this character better than it would be by anyone else. The film moves slowly, but it's melodic not boring. Definitely worth a look.
6. Children of Men - The trailer for this could be my favorite film of the year; I was so anxious for this that I think the film suffered for it. I expected something a little more uplifting or inspiring than such bleakness. Nonetheless, everything else I thought was top-notch. The filmmaking on display here is tremendous. The acting is wonderful, especially by Clive Owen and Michael Caine. I accept the sci-fi premise readily; but I want to know more about this pregnancy. How? Why her? As for the technical aspects, well, there is nothing better this year. The cinematography will be studied in perpetuity and the set decoration is incredible. Cuaron, I said earlier, is one of the best directors working today, and I will see anything he attaches his name to. One of the best films of the year, if only a little disappointing. I blame the marketers.
5. Hard Candy - This is a fixed study of paranoia, of control, of vengeance. Comprising of two actors only, it is not surprising this was written by a playwright. Ellen Page (who?) is electrifying and what she does here is so intense. There is one scene that is the most terrifying thing I've seen in years. I don't want to spoil the fun. Everyone should jump this to the top of your queue. You may not like it (my cousin Ray did not) but it's definitely a conversation piece.
4. The Prestige - Christopher Nolan is an excellent director, and after reading the Devil in the White City, I'm fascinated by anything turn of the (19th) century. Hugh Jackman was really great and Christian Bale was equally compelling. Michael Caine is great in everything, pretty much. Scarlett Johanson was underused, but good. The set pieces and the look of this film are wonderful. A visual feast.
3. The Departed - This is one of the few films in which you notice the editing, and it is what really makes this film so good. The story is so dense with twists and turns and plot, that without such a quick pace, it would be three hours long and feel it. Nicholson reigns supreme -- just turn the camera on and let the man work. Leo DiCaprio and Matt Damon really turn in great performances here, as do Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen and even Mark Wahlberg. Sheen, especially, makes his screen time memorable. Scorcese is owed an Oscar, and if he gets it for this, it will be for a film he actually deserves it for, instead of the Academy's habit of giving awards for people for films they don't deserve them for (Pacino in Scent of a Woman) because they're long overdue.
2. Casino Royale - I am no Bond enthusiast. I've seen the Brosnan films, and a handful of the Connery installments. This, in my opinion, is the best Bond film. Maybe that's a comment based on a generational divide, but the old Bond films are just so campy or uneven. Royale is expert from the beginning, and Daniel Craig proves all the naysayers wrong with his turn. Connery will always be the best Bond, but Craig is a close second. I already can't wait for the next one.
1. Half Nelson - I loved this film and I didn't expect to. Until this performance I disliked Ryan Gosling. He is excellent here, and deserves to be nominated for an Oscar. He plays a high school history teacher with a cocaine addiction; he also coaches girl's basketball and establishes a protector role of one of the girls on the team. The story is so nuanced, well-written, beautifully filmed; the camera never lingers too long on a scene and Gosling really inhabits the character. Rent this when it comes out on DVD; it's my favorite film of the year.
These are the films I saw this year, in the order of their theatrical release:
Grandma’s Boy; Bubble; Imagine Me & You; Firewall; The Pink Panther; Date Movie; Running Scared; 16 Blocks; Dave Chappelle’s Block Party; Thank You For Smoking; V for Vendetta; Inside Man; Basic Instinct 2; Lucky Number Slevin; On a Clear Day; Hard Candy; The Sentinel; United 93; Down in the Valley; Mission: Impossible 3; The Da Vinci Code; The Break Up; A Prairie Home Companion; The Lake House; Wordplay; Superman Returns; Strangers With Candy; Pirates of the Caribbean 2; A Scanner Darkly; The Groomsmen; You, Me and Dupree; Clerks II; Little Miss Sunshine; Miami Vice; World Trade Center; Half Nelson; Accepted; The Illusionist; I Trust You To Kill Me; The Last Kiss; Feast; The Queen; The Departed; Flags of Our Fathers; The Prestige; Running With Scissors; Babel; Stranger Than Fiction; Casino Royale;
Déjà vu; The Holiday; The Pursuit of Happyness; The Good Shepherd; Children of Men.
Superlatives of the year:
Just Plain Awful: Date Movie
Not as Good as the TV Show: Strangers With Candy
Missing Many Pieces, and Much Common Sense: Superman Returns
Underwhelming: The Last Kiss
Creepy Impersonation: The Queen
Annoying: Flags of Our Fathers
Overhyped: Little Miss Sunshine
Too Heavy With Needless Stuff: The Good Shepherd
A Disservice to the Book: Running With Scissors
Should Have Been Better: Stranger Than Fiction
Gave Me A Headache: A Scanner Darkly
Unintentionally Hilarious: Firewall
Strange: Bubble
Waste of $8: Dave Chappelle's Block Party
I'm Embarrassed to Admit I Liked It: Basic Instinct 2
Unnecessary Haircut: The Davinci Code
Sad-Bastard: On a Clear Day
Can you figure out my taste yet??? Here's to 2007!
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